I almost kill The Burble

     I am passionate in my love of bad movies, but the selection on the flight over here was atrocious. I watched something called Real Steel, which has an inexplicable plot, terrible acting and giant fighting robots. It made me cringe with lines like "Dad I love you so, lets make a giant robot together". I tried to sleep but was wedged between a large snoring German (are all Germans large?) and a really angry lady who wouldn't talk to me. I didn't sleep for fear that my head would slump onto one of their shoulders and then they would scream at me in some other language.
     I arrived in Amsterdam after an hour on the Bart train in Oakland, a 10-hour flight to London, a sprint to catch the 45 minute flight to Holland. I was terrified my brother, (The Burble) wouldn't meet me there but there he was, an inch taller, hair several inched longer and smelling like he hadn't showered since I last saw him two months ago. He proudly told me that tho he has deodorant he doesn't feel it's nessesary and he loves his smell. He also said that he's almost been arrested many times and he's found a wonderful construction site for us to sleep in. He seemed genuinely sad when I told him our mom kindly rented us a room in a nice hotel for the night.
     Despite his pungent aroma I was thrilled to see The Burble, as he's my best friend in the world and I'm looking forward to our adventures. It's been years since I was out of the country and I was a little taken aback to find that I understand nothing on the signs, but apparently every person in this country speaks fluent English. We decided to walk to the hotel which didn't look that far on the map.
     Little known fact about Amsterdam: The city is basically an epic maze that makes no sense. The street names change randomly, there's canals everywhere, some of the streets cease being streets and change into water suddenly. Also there are separate lanes for the many bikes here and the people riding those bikes ride like lunatics. It's like the cab drivers in New York. Except crazier. And there's more of them. They barrel around with no lights or bells and I seriously almost died. In California pedestrians seem to feel they have the constant rite-of-way. Not here. They will kill your ass and use you as a speed bump.
     The hotel was about a mile away but due to the non-nonsensical insanity of the streets of Amsterdam we tried to find it for four hours. People were really eager to offer completely bogus directions. However Amsterdam is incredibly beautiful and I was blown away but the amazing architecture and canals. I love this city, despite your high chance of death by bike. I want to live on a little house-boat here and smoke lots of weed and not work. There's tons of little cafes and shops offering "magic truffles" which make me a little nervous. I'm trying to take lots of pictures but my photography skills are limited.
     We found the hotel and I immediately passed out on the bed. The Burble said he was going to explore and he'd be back later, but he was still gone when I woke up around 9 pm. I went down to the hotel lobby to check my couchsurfing profile and struck up a conversation with a couple of very attractive men who turned out to be actors and hip-hop musicians. They're on tour around Europe and are staying in the same hotel as me. They tried desperately to get me to come hang out in their room but I didn't want to give them false hopes of sex since I am incapable of action this soon after leaving my boyfriend Greg at the BART station 24 hours ago. They did look familiar and I realized one of them is in a movie I've seen about 12 times. I'm a little star-struck but I let them go sadly up to their rooms alone.
     When I woke up jet-lagged at 6 AM, The Burble still wasn't in the room. I lay awake trying desperately to figure out where he could have gone. Working in the EMS field has made me paranoid and sometimes I see his face on my younger patients. I had just decided that he had take some bad X from an ax-murdering psycho and then fallen into the canal and gotten hypothermia and also ax-murdered, he wandered in through the door. He was high off his ass and told me in a daze that he isn't going to visit our mom's friend tonight because he's in a band now and they have a gig tonight. Exhausted and hormonal from going off my birth control for the first time in years, I threw my pillow at him and burst into tears. He mumbled something about being horribly sorry and passed out on the bed. We need to check out of the hotel in an hour.